Monday, June 16, 2014

“Mom, Why is Dad Break Dancing?”

Yesterday, social media was chockfull of tributes to fathers, grandfathers, step-fathers, maybe-fathers, and fathers-to-be.  Durex, the British manufacturer of “prophylactic sheaths,” had a commercial out yesterday that said “To all of you out there that used our competitors’ products…Happy Father’s Day.”  Let’s face it, Father’s Day is less intense than Mother’s Day.  There are no FTD commercials, because most dads aren’t into receiving roses (at least I hope not).  Children and spouses express their love through meats on a stick, golf clubs, corn hole matches, and trips to the local waterpark.  As a display of affection and appreciation to me, my wife (ahem, and kids) bought me some Smores-flavored cotton candy………

Yesterday marked my eighth Father’s Day as a father.  I spent much of the day piloting a GMC Yukon full of people from Charlotte, NC.   The night before we attended the wedding of a lifelong friend; therefore, my brain synapses were only intermittently connecting throughout the ride.  However, I did have some time to reflect on being a father and what exactly it means.   

Fathers are protectors of the household.  Now, I’ll admit when I hear a knock in the night, I ask my wife to go check it out, but the overarching presumption is that big-bad-Dad will be the one scaring the robber off in his whitey-tighties.  When something goes wrong with a child, fathers desperately want the child to say, “I’m going to tell my dad.”  We want to protect the child AND ourselves.  A hurt and whiny child is much easier to deal with when he or she is not coupled with an angry mom/wife!!   

You hear people say all of the time that so and so was a father figure in my life.  You may hear them called a nurturer.  What I say is that a father and/or father-figure is an enabler.  Outside of jumping out of an airplane, being a snake-charmer, or rock climbing anything over five-feet tall, I will try anything that my children have an interest in doing.  (Yes, I know people….I left out the running a marathon part).  I want to enable them to be curious about all things.  Payback may come in about 14 years when my daughter shows an interest in French fashion or something.

Lastly, despite all of our faults and foibles, we are simply entertaining and frustrating figures.  You do not have to dig deep into most fathers to discover they are still that same 12 year old kid.  Guys remark all the time that we can go ten years without seeing one another and still catch back up like we are sitting on the fraternity house front porch.  Just before my first child was born, I struggled with the whole growing up thing.  Then, I came to the conclusion that I will likely never grow up.  Now I have an eight-year-old son that is completely normal (I think).  When he goes to the convenience store to pick up some Nerds candy, I ask that he pick me up some of the same.  My wife, and most mothers out there will admit, that fathers are just as frustrating as the kids they produce!!  Keep it up, men!!


All of us have or had a father or father-figure in our life.  Be thankful for the time you got to spend with that hero.  Give your mother the recognition that she deserves, but don’t forget that dear old dad is only slightly more mature than you.  I am surrounded by friends that are great fathers.  We will never win the James Dobson award for parenting, but we try our hardest to be the protector, the enabler, and the entertaining and frustrating men that we are.  Happy Father’s Day to you all, and especially to my dad, Randall………The Godfather of Leisure.    

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